Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
