i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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