im six kinds of drunk right now
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
