Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Randomize
