So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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