I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
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