So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
