He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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