Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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