I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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