like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
