Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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