Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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