bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Enjoy the penises
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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