Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
