paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so let's talk penis.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
