So drunk its hurt
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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