Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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