Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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