I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
