So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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