Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
