Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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