all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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