There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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