The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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