i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
