BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
