Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
