Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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