Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
