Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
