she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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