haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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