I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
