just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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