I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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