Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
