i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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