and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
