so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
