Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
