Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize