Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
