I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
