Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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