She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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