Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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