My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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