It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
