Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
