I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
