I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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