somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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