I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
