How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think a kid would responsible me up
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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