Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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