I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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