She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I intend to get homeless drunk
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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