taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize