If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
